Where's Jashin?
by ILikeUdon
Summary: Hidan, after being blown up by Shikamaru is left completely useless. He gives up his immortality in hopes of something better and possibly even meeting Jashin. Instead, he gets an unwelcome visit from Ichigo and goes to Soul Society. No major pairings.
1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note: **

**I don't own anything from Naruto or Bleach!**

**Take note as well that this storyline has nothing to do with the original plots from either anime.**

**Don't forget to review, please!**

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_Damn boy with the spiky, pineapple-like hair... I've been here for at least a week already!_

Hidan wasn't even sure how he managed to think that, considering that he was essentially tiny bits of ashes here and there, buried in an untidy heap somewhere in the middle of the Nara clan's woods. Heck, his brain wasn't even in one piece, so how could he even think properly? He didn't even have a mouth or a voice box, so he couldn't swear out loud either, and thus was resigned to cursing mentally.

The S-ranked ninja was basically pissed off right now. He was alive, but barely. He was also pretty sure that no one would actually come for him, let alone take the time to somehow magically restore his body back to normal. That Shikamaru boy was going to pay dearly for this when he... When he _what,_ exactly? Right now, Hidan was totally hopeless, and he was pretty sure that being unable to fight meant that he was automatically out of Akatsuki. He was honestly better off dead.

Something clicked somewhere in Hidan's scattered mind. Yes, death truly was the only option. He'd finally give up his life, and then figure out a way from there to get his revenge. He might even get to see his dear lord Jashin. Hidan attempted a grin at that last thought, but then procceeded to scrowl when he realised he didn't have a face anymore, so he possibly couldn't grin, but then found that it meant he couldn't scrowl either. He really was pathetic.

Summoning all of his life force and strength, Hidan went through a prayer in his head, giving up his immortality.

Before he knew it, he was no more.

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Hidan was confused right now. He remembered giving up his immortality so that he could die, and felt it work for a second or so where he seemed to temporarily cease to exist. However, here he was, standing in the middle of the Nara forest, seemingly unharmed. He looked down at himself and saw his whole body, with his scythe right in place.

"What the hell is this?!" Hidan muttered angrily. More importantly, where was his dear Jashin-sama? If he was dead, shouldn't he be with Jashin now? Having no other plan in mind, Hidan dashed in a completely random direction, hoping that it was the right way to get out. He'd figure out what just happened later, he reasoned. Right now, he supposed he was just glad to have his body.

He had been running for a long time already, and was just able to see a clearing in front of him. "Yeah!" He screamed out triumphantly, before he halted suddenly, holding his scythe in place to attack.

Hidan didn't realise that the whole Naruto gang was right in front of him until he had shouted. And he had screamed loudly enough for people to hear him at least a kilometre away. This was bad. He had just announced his arrival to the enemy. He ground his teeth as he waited for the Konoha ninjas to attack him.

"Who wants to go get some ramen?" Naruto said cheerfully, folding his arms behind his head, completely ignoring Hidan and walking right past him instead, with a few other brats whom Hidan couldn't remember in tow.

To say Hidan was dumbfounded would be a severe understatement. His mouth was hanging wide open as he watched the gang of teenagers walk by him casually, as if he wasn't there at all.

"HEY!" Hidan screamed. "Don't ignore me when I'm right here and ready to attack!" His ego was severely bruised.

There was still no response. All Hidan saw was the ninjas getting further and further away from him.

"Little pieces of shit..." Hidan glared, preparing to give chase and perform his usual Jashin ritual on all of them.

However, he never got the chance to. Right before his eyes, a person clad in black robes appeared right before him.

"Move!" The person shouted, shoving Hidan roughly to the side.

Hidan was outraged. "What the fu-"

An inhuman roar interrupted the ex-Akatsuki member. Hidan watched in confusion as a portal seemed to open out of nowhere and a huge monster that he had never seen before came out of it.

"Ah, so it's a Gillian..." He heard the black robed figure say to himself.

Hidan was just about to ask what a Gillian was when the man jumped up high into the air and charged towards the monster at impossibly high speeds, disappearing and reappearing at a different spot. He was fast. Without a second of hesitation, the man then unsheathed a sword and swiped at the monster, dissolving it completely.

The mysterious man landed gracefully on the ground, straightened up, and turned to Hidan, his orange hair rustled by the gentle breeze that was going by. "Alright," he said. "Time for you to move on, pal. I'm sending you to Soul Society."

"Soul Society?" Hidan asked with disgust laced in his voice. "What sort of crap is that?"

"Ichigo! Why didn't you wait for us?" They were interrupted by the arrival of a group of people. There was a short, petite girl dressed in the same black robes as the orange-haired guy whose name seemed to be 'Ichigo', a huge, tough-looking guy with brown hair that covered his eyes, a thin, bespectacled guy and a girl with a large chest.

"Oh, Rukia." Ichigo said. "It was a Gillian... I was just about to help this guy move on."

The girl who apparently was named Rukia looked at Hidan. Her eyes widened, which just plainly annoyed the Jashin-worshipper. "Him?" She said.

"Yeah, why?" Ichigo asked.

"The Gillian that appeared here was attacted by this guy," Rukia said. "He has such a large amount of reiatsu!"

The thin guy dressed in a white suit spoke up. "Even now, when he's relaxed, he has more reiatsu than over half of the captains at Seireitei!"

Ichigo looked shocked. "Really?!"

The other two who hadn't said anything just stared at Hidan in wonder. All of this was seriously pissing him off.

"Who the hell are all of you? What's a Gillian? What was with that portal that opened up all of a sudden? Captains?! Reiatsu?! Seireitei?!"

Rukia turned to Hidan. "We're going to send you to rest. You're going to Soul Society."

Hidan glared at her. "I don't give a shit about all of this! What's going on anyway?!"

Ichigo raised an eyebrow. "You're dead." He said simply, "And you're a soul right now. So you belong in Soul Society, which is sort of like heaven. You don't belong here, in the world of the living."

Hidan blinked. No wonder Naruto couldn't see or hear him just now. "For the love of Jashin..." He muttered angrily. All of this was way too much to handle at one time. No wonder Naruto didn't react to him, it was because he couldn't even see or hear him.

"Who's Jashin?" Ichigo asked, causing Hidan to let out a shocked yelp.

"You don't know who Jashin is?!" Hidan spluttered. "He's the god that I worship!"

Rukia tilted her head to the side. "Jashin? Never heard of him, you sure he exists?"

"JASHIN-SAMA!" Hidan cried as Ichigo and Rukia both shrugged, performing the soul burial ritual on him.

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**Author's Note:**

**Hope you all enjoyed the first chapter! The next one will hopefully be longer, as it'll be the time where most of the basics are explained and more is revealed. Also, reviews always make me update faster(:**


	2. Chapter 2

**Author's Note:**

**I don't own anything from Naruto or Bleach!**

**Also, I'm really really sorry for the long wait between this chapter and the first one. School's been extra hectic lately, and it's probably only going to get worse.**

**And a big thank you to all who reviewed, subscribed, messaged or favourited, it really means a lot to me! (:**

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"Jashin-sama!"

Hidan awoke with a jerk, only to come face-to-face with some brat covered in dirt. "YUUURRRGHHH!" Was his immediate reaction.

The kid who was previously bending over him immediately backed away, startled by Hidan's loud yell. When Hidan had calmed down a little bit more, he took in his surroundings. He was in a rather shabby, one-room house, if he could even call it a house; it was so run down. There were many other people there besides the boy, and they were all of different ages. Even so, they all looked similar, dressed in simple, worn out clothes with blotches of dirt smeared over certain parts of their bodies. It wasn't the most pleasant environment or sight.

However, the thing that was annoying the faithful Jashin-follower was that everyone was staring at him. They were facing him in a semi-circle formation, some looking rather curious, others apprehensive. He didn't like it one bit.

"Where the hell am I? Who are you people anyway? You all look like shit!"

A middle-aged man spoke up. "This is the 73rd district of Soul Society. We found you lying outside on the street, unconscious, so we carried you in here."

Hidan's eye twitched. "You mean you stinky people put your hands on me?!" He glanced down at his Akatsuki robe. At least it still looked clean, and there were no traces of dirt anywhere. Well, as clean as a black robe could look, that is.

"Some thanks would be nice," an elderly woman said sarcastically.

If Hidan was in a better mood, he would have simply laughed at the idea of showing these people any gratitude. But as he was in quite a foul mood at the moment, he glowered and reached for his scythe, pointing it menacingly at the crowd in front of him. It was about time he made up for the killings he missed out on when he was stuck in the Nara clan's woods. Jashin would be so proud of him.

Only, his scythe wasn't there, and Hidan was left looking rather stupid at he extended his right arm in front of him, his hand clutching a non-existent object, a maniacal grin etched onto his face.

There was a pause of awkward silence.

"Mommy... He's weird!" Some puny kid to Hidan's left whispered.

"AHHHH! WHERE'S MY SCYTHE?!?!"

The occupants of the room exchanged glances with each other as the strange man before them let out a string of very colourful words. He looked as if he was panicking, running around the room in small circles and making vibrant gestures.

Hidan was mortified. His scythe was the second most important thing to him. How could he kill more people without it? It just wouldn't be the same, not to mention not as fun. But most importantly, how could he answer to Jashin?

The elderly woman that spoke previously let out a snort. "We left it by the door. We don't feel the need for weapons to be in here with us. It only calls for unnecessary damage."

The effect of her words was instantaneous. Hidan's eyes lit up as he dashed towards the door, retrieved his scythe, and turn to face his audience once again in the same stance as before.

Only this time, the awkward silence was replaced with one of fear.

Standing before them was no longer that weird and slightly comical man. With a malicious glint in his eye, Hidan began to stride nearer and nearer to his unfortunate prey as they scampered away from him.

"Killing the whole lot of you should suffice for now!" Hidan let out a sinister sounding laugh.

This was when the villagers realised that this man was truly dangerous. They wanted to run, to get away, but the atmosphere felt so heavy at that present moment that they couldn't even breathe properly, let alone move. It was as if the air around their soon-to-be killer was crackling with electricity and the man himself was exuding an aura that screamed 'evil'. The intensity of it all was too much for them to handle. One by one, they collapsed to the ground under the pressure, silently screaming for their limbs to move and allow them to pull their bodies up, only to find that they seemed to be paralyzed with fear. They could only wait in defeat for their death.

Hidan smiled as he aimed his scythe at the nearest person. The fun was just beginning.

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"Faster, Ken-chan! Faster!" Yachiru squealed happily.

Zaraki Kenpachi let out a grunt. "I know," he said without glancing up at his pink-haired lieutenant as he ran towards Division One's main building for an emergency meeting between all the captains and vice-captains of the Thirteen Protection Squads. "We're almost there, Yachiru."

Soon enough, the cluster of buildings that made up the First Division was visible to the pair of officers. Without wasting any time, Kenpachi reached the front door, slid it open and took his rightful position among the other captains. It looked like the meeting had yet to commence, which was a bother that more time was being wasted since he was actually watching the men from his division spar just before the hell butterfly came.

With a quick glance around the room, he could see that everyone but Yamamoto had arrived and assembled. Matsumoto chattered to her captain animatedly as he nodded disinterestedly, Aizen seemed to exchange some kinds words with Hinamori, making the young girl blush, Shunsui and Ukitake were conversing with Nanao standing behind her captain, looking professional as always, Ichimaru with his ever-present grin...

A quick approaching reiatsu caught everyone's attention, causing them to take their positions in the usual two lines they stood in when a meeting was in progress.

Yamamoto had just arrived, wearing an expression that suggested utmost seriousness as he began the meeting.

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Hidan was lying down contentedly in the middle of a large symbol that consisted of a triangle enclosed within a circle drawn purely with blood. He had just finished up his usual ritual that he was required to perform after every sacrifice to Jashin. Sitting up, he could see his surrounds that were filled with bloodied and mutilated corpses, courtesy of his scythe and blood ritual. He decided that this Soul Society place wasn't half bad; there were many people here that he could kill, and they looked so miserable that no one would miss them anyway. But the down side was that this place was so boring. There was hardly anything to do. Humming a tune as he stood up, Hidan strolled leisurely to head to another area in search of other activities.

The sound of footsteps behind him made him pause. Was it possible that he missed out one? Shit. That would be committing heresy...

"Hidan, what are you doing here?"

A grin formed on Hidan's face. He turned around to face that all-too-familiar voice. So looks like he was innocent after all.

"How the hell did you find me, Sasori? This place is huge..."

Sure enough, he was face-to-face with his former Akatsuki comrade. There wasn't anything too different about him from when he was still alive. The same face. Same red hair. Even the cloak was there. The only thing that was missing would be his hundreds of puppets. Without a moment of hesitation, Hidan gave Sasori one hard, painful punch in the gut.

"OUCH!" The red head clutched his stomach, sinking to the floor. He was not suspecting something like that as a greeting. "I'm going to kill you!"

"Relax... I just wanted to do that. I could never have managed that before without hurting my hand when you still had your damn wooden body."

As a response, Sasori just glared. He and Hidan were never over-friendly towards each other, so why was he going to start now? However, he couldn't do much more considering the immense pain he was in and decided to let that one go. Hidan was really strong, after all.

Hidan's grin slowly faded. "You're getting soft, Sasori."

Sasori couldn't hold back a slight twitch in his eye. Was that pun intended? It wasn't as if he willingly gave up his puppet body for his original one made out of real flesh and bone. It just happened when he appeared in Soul Society. His body made of wood was artificial, so it only made sense that it wouldn't be with him when he arrived here.

"I mean, I shouldn't have been able to even hit you. Back then, you'd have dodged with no problem, off-guard or not."

The puppet master just glared harder. "I let you hit me..." He muttered. "You were just stronger than I anticipated, that's all."

"Whatever. So don't tell me you've been wasting your time here like all those other scum I killed."

Sasori barely suppressed the second twitch of his eye. If he had his puppet body, there wouldn't be a problem with twitching and all of that. He so dearly missed it. "Of course I haven't! I've been working to make all my puppets again from scratch. Problem is, these people here are so weak that even after turning them into puppets, I have no use for their abilities. They have none. Not to mention this place is so poor that I can't even find the correct materials and tools to use."

"How shitty. And I've only been here since yesterday."

"So... how many massacres have you done so far?"

Hidan waved his hand nonchalantly. "Just about ten already. But then again, who gives a crap?"

Sasori allowed himself to chuckle. "You just got here yesterday and have already killed that many people? Can't say I'm surprised, though."

Hidan merely shrugged in response. There was nothing better to do here for entertainment anyway.

"But you know what?" Sasori said. Knowing that Hidan wouldn't bother responding with a 'What, Sasori?', he continued on. "I want to become a Shinigami."

"Hm?" Hidan racked his brain. That term sounded vaguely familiar... That Ichy-something or black-haired midget girl whose name started with an 'R' said something like that, he recalled. Wait, that Ichy and midget were Shinigami, weren't they? The ones who sent him here. As soon as that information clicked together, he let out a "What the fuc-" only to be interrupted again by Sasori.

"Do you wanna become weak after having no one to fight but these worthless people?"

"Well, no."

"Are you content with being poor like they are here?"

"What!? No way!"

"Would you want to stay here all the time and live so mundanely forever?"

"Hell no!"

"By the way, how come your scythe didn't disappear?"

"... I don't know."

"But you see my reasoning, don't you?"

Hidan considered it, and it made sense. After all, by the rate he was going, he would probably kill everyone within the next month. Then he'd have nothing left to do. Whereas, becoming a Shinigami meant gaining new powers, becoming stronger, kicking Ichy and midget's asses... He might even go back to Konoha or wherever else to provoke Shikamaru and all the other surviving Akatsuki members, and the best part would be that they wouldn't be able to even see him, let alone attack. He quite liked the idea of mooning Pein or Konan without getting trashed in return. That was good reasoning. Good enough for him anyway.

He must have been taking a long time to think things over, because Sasori let out an impatient growl. Oh right. He hated having to wait.

"Fine," Hidan finally said. "I agree."

Sasori was just about to give an approving nod when the arrival of several unfamiliar presences alerted the two former S-ranked criminals. Slowly, they turned around to face the new comers who were clothed in black Shinigami robes with white haoris over them.

"So..." Aizen began. "By any chance, did the two of you have anything to do with the recent massacres?"

It was then that Hidan and Sasori were both painfully aware that they were still standing in the midst of dozens of lifeless corpses, surrounded by many Shinigami that they would soon find out were captains.

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**Hope you enjoyed! Let me know, drop me a review or message. Thanks! (:**


	3. Chapter 3

**Author's Note:**

**Hey all! First of all, I'm terribly sorry for the annoying-ly long wait between this chapter and the last. But I'm updating now, cos my exams have just ended! **

**A huge thank you to all my readers! All of your reviews, alerts, messages and favourites are so appreciated, and they really encourage me a lot. Keep on reading, hope you enjoy it! Things are just getting good for this story from here on out.**

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Hidan spun around and took in the image of the man who had just spoken. He had the basic 'nice, harmless guy' look: black-rimmed glasses and a decent haircut that wasn't too outlandish. Hence, Hidan decided that he probably wouldn't get along too well with him; he looked too morally upright. He glanced at Sasori, who was standing a few steps from him to his left and saw his ex-comrade staring at him with an accusatory expression that said, 'this is all your fault'.

As Hidan had been in Soul Society for only a short time and had spent it more or less killing all whom he met, he was pretty much clueless about the rules and how things worked in the place. A smug, self-satisfied smirk forming on his face, he proudly announced to the general astonishment and disgust of twelve captains of the Gotei-Thirteen, "Of course, this was entirely my handiwork." He jerked a thumb at Sasori. "This guy here had nothing to do with it, so don't start giving him any credit."

Sasori slapped a hand to his forehead in exasperation.

And suddenly, that was when Hidan heard it for the first time.

_That was not the right thing to say! And in front of them, of all people!_ Came a rough, male voice.

Hidan jumped. "What the hell, Sasori! Don't go telling me what to do!"

Sasori's hand dropped to his side as a disbelieving looked crossed his face. "What are you talking about? I didn't say anything."

"Yes, you did! You told me that what I just said wasn't the right thing to say, especially in front of them!" Hidan said, gesturing wildly to the captains in front of him.

"No, I didn't! What's wrong with you?"

"Nothing! It's you that's got something wrong with your head, dipshit, denying the obvious fact that you were talki-"

_Pay attention! _Hidan was cut off by the new-found voice. He was just in time to see one of the white-robed people appear right in front of him, raising a sword and ready to strike. Quick as a flash due to his training as a shinobi, Hidan dodged the blow sent by the man, who had silver coloured hair.

"Wow, yer rather fast, aren't ya?" Ichimaru Gin said, while grinning at Hidan. "But that voice ya heard was right, that's not the right thing ta say to us."

Hidan was just about to reach for his scythe and say that he didn't give two hoots about what these people thought when Sasori said, in a rather testy, impatient voice, "Stop it, Hidan! These people are the captains of the Gotei-Thirteen, the strongest shinigami around!"

"Shiniga-" Another swipe of Ichimaru's sword interrupted Hidan in mid-speech.

"Ya also shouldn't turn your attention away from ya opponents..." Ichimaru went on.

Hidan was starting to get annoyed. "What is it with you and butting into people's conversations? You're pissing me off!" He wielded his beloved scythe and charged right back at Ichimaru, all previous thoughts of asking to become a shinigami flying out the window at his rage.

Sasori and the other shinigami captains watched on as strikes, blows and a few of Hidan's favourite swear words were exchanged between the two fighters. They seemed to be on par when it came to fighting; neither could land a blow on the other. Still, as Sasori observed the remaining eleven figures clothed in white, he noticed that they wore expressions of shock. Apparently, they had not been expecting Hidan to be able to hold out against Ichimaru in a battle or have a weapon with him that he was able to wield so effectively. Sasori wondered if they were aware of shinobi in the real world and just how much fighting experience Hidan had due to his religious views.

Hidan had decided to trust the new voice that he had started hearing as he aimed another swipe at the person he was fighting, who dodged the blow easily. It had warned him prior to the first attack, and it was dishing out instructions to Hidan as he fought on.

_He's open there... JUMP! .. ... There's your chance! ... Careful..._

Well, this voice sure knew what it was doing, anyway. Hidan swung his scythe forward as Ichimaru swung his. The blade of the sword was caught between the ones of the scythe, the tip just inches away from Hidan's chest. Both men were pushing their weapons against their opponent's harder and harder, unwilling to give in.

Hidan noted as his opponent's grin got even wider. "Shoot to kill, Shinso."

Many things happened at the same time. Hidan saw the sword glow white, and without warning, it extended right into the middle of his torso, where his heart was supposed to be. He was thrown back by the force of it, as the sword lengthened even more, the tip of it still embedded in his body. Hidan felt himself being lifted into the air and pushed backwards for what seemed like a very long time, his hand still gripping his scythe. Finally, he felt the painful impact of his back meeting the nearest building. Simultaneously, Sasori fell to his knees, rooted to the spot by Ichimaru's reiatsu. He was panting; the sheer force and fierceness of it made it hard to breathe. The other captains simply observed the scene before them with watchful eyes.

Ichimaru Gin, hearing the sickening crunch of his enemy's ribs being shattered, withdrew Shinso. From roughly a kilometre away, he saw Hidan's body crumple to the ground. Satisfied, he sheathed his zanpakuto and proceeded towards where Sasori and the rest of the captains stood in silence.

"Ahh, well that's over now, ain't it?" He said, grinning wickedly at a dumbstruck Sasori who was still staring in Hidan's direction. It was hard to make out his figure lying flat on the ground from the great distance. "I can't believe he just ignored ya like that, Aizen."

"Not exactly," A woman spoke up. Sasori recognised her from his research on shinigami to be Soi Fon, captain of the Second Division. She looked tense, and was eyeing Sasori with a look of deep mistrust. "That man is a very suspicious character. Who is he? And who are you? You're obviously acquainted with him."

Sasori got up to his feet shakily. He wasn't used to being in this vulnerable state. During his Akatsuki days, it was always him who had the upper hand, with hundreds of deadly puppets at his command. However, he knew that given his present state, he couldn't possibly stand against even one of the captains with their off-the-chart reiatsu levels. Thus, he decided that he had to cooperate with them and answer any of their questions.

"He's Hidan, and I'm Sasori. Yes, we are acquainted, but I would not go so far as to called us friends. When we were still alive, we were both S-ranked shinobi in the organisation called Akatsuki."

"S-ranked?" Soi Fon inquired further. "What is this Akatsuki?"

"S-ranked in shinigami terms would easily be about lieutenant level, some maybe even captain. Akatsuki is a mercenary organisation made up of only S-ranked ninja."

"So that's why Hidan seemed to be quite proficient in combat," a young captain with snow-coloured hair spoke up this time. Hitsugaya Toushirou. "But that still doesn't explain why he had a zanpakuto with him."

"I noticed that, too," Kyokaru Shunsui added.

Now Sasori was confused.

* * *

Hidan let out a muffled groan as he realised his face was firmly pressed to the dirt-covered ground beneath him. That had hurt a whole damn lot. But even more of a concern was the absence of Kakuzu; without him and his handy stiches, Hidan was sure his wounds would keep reopening. After all, he wasn't the type of person who was able to keep still and rest for long periods of time.

_What are you looking so agonised for? You're immortal, remember?_ It was the voice again.

"Shut the hell up," Hidan retorted. Rolling over onto his back, he lifted his head slightly off the ground to inspect the damage dealt to him. The hole in the middle of his chest wasn't wide, but it was certainly deep. Deep enough to have made its way right through his body. "Who are you, anyway? Butting in all of a sudden..."

_At least my butting in helped to save your ass out there for the first few times. _

"Just answer the damn question."

_Hidan, don't you know me? After all, I've been with you for a long time. _

Hidan was getting annoyed. Not only was he bleeding profusely - something which he enjoyed seeing happen to others, though certainly not himself - but this voice in his head was practically talking in riddles. He hated that.

"Stop with being all crappy and mysterious. Just say it out like it is, damn it!"

_Touchy, touchy. Fine. I am your zanpakuto. Your scythe. Put it together, and you'll realise that scythe of yours was a zanpakuto all along, genius._

"Hm?" This was something new. Weren't zanpakutos those swords that only shinigami possessed? Then why did he have one? He sure as hell wasn't a shinigami. "Care to do some explaining?"

_Of course, you aren't a shinigami. But being so... religious and devoted to Jashin somehow drew me out of your soul into existence. You were so deeply connected with the teachings and rituals of Jashin that your soul began to be altered here and there, resulting in me. I am also one of the reasons why you are immortal. Have you ever remembered killing with a ritual without my assistance?_

Hidan took a moment to ponder this. He supposed that it made sense... The Jashin religion had some unusual things going on anyway, so he wouldn't be surprised if he'd tampered with even more strange things than producing his own zanpakuto when he was still living. Not bothering to argue with the new found information, Hidan decided to just accept it. But one thing was still bugging him.

"Why have you only started talking now?" He wondered.

_I've been trying to communicate with you for a long time already, _came the voice. _You just couldn't hear me clearly in the real world as you can now._Hidan nodded, showing he understood.

"So..." He grinned as he slowly sat up and rose to his feet. It was about time he got back into the action. Squinting his eyes, he could make out the figures of the captains and Sasori in the distance. "I suppose I'm gonna have to get along with you, eh?"

_We already have gotten along for almost your whole entire lifetime, idiot. You just never realised it._

Hidan growled and opened his mouth to retort.

_And you can speak to me using just your thoughts, you know._

He snapped his mouth shut.

'You ass of a zanpakuto...' He thought.

* * *

Sasori almost choked on his own spit as he considered the fact that Hidan might just have a zanpakuto. "No way," he denied. "It's not possible."

"That's what we would think, too," Shunsui chuckled. "But that scythe of his seems too much like one. Not to mention he has an impressive amount of reiatsu, too."

A scrowl appeared on Sasori's face. He had quite a good theory to explain Hidan's massive reiatsu. "Damn that stupid Jashin religion..."

"Jashin?" Hitsugaya inquired with narrow eyes. "We've never heard of such a thing here."

Sasori was just about to elaborate about Hidan's unusual fetish when the man himself cut him short.

"Honestly, for the love of Jashin-sama, all of you Soul Society shitheads are so thick! How could you people not know about him?"

The captains of the Gotei-Thirteen turned their heads slowly towards the direction of the frustrated voice. Several pairs of eyes widened in pure shock at the miraculous sight before them. There stood the man they now knew as Hidan, scythe in hand, standing tall and proud, donning a look of immense frustration at their supposed ignorance. The most noticeable feature about him at the moment was the gaping hole where his heart was supposed to be at. They could literally see right through him. And the best part was that Hidan was far from being dead. Instead, he looked just as alive and kicking as he was when Aizen first spoke to him.

"Tch," Hidan said. "Another problem with Soul Society people is that they keep staring at me with that same freakin' dumbstruck expression."

"This is impossible!" Soi Fon exclaimed.

Sasori regarded the shinigami captains' expressions with amusement. "I didn't mention one of the most important things about Hidan... As you can plainly see, he's immortal. He can't die, even if you chop his head off or cut him up."

Hidan, on the other hand, was tired of waiting for the shocked shinigami to respond or attack. Instead, he seized his opportunity.

"Oi, listen up," he said. "Me and Sasori here wanna become shinigami. So take us to your leader or whatever you call him."

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**Yay, so there you have it! Things are finally starting to pick up in the plot. Also, I'm pleading with all of you who like this story to bug and poke and pester me to update. If not, I'll probably take really long to do so. Just drop in a simple "UPDATE SOON!" with your review or something, that'll do the trick. Speaking of reviews, review too, I'll appreciate that! **

**Thanks a bunch for reading, the next chapter will feature a full-blown captains' and vice-captains' meeting with Yamamoto about Hidan and Sasori. That should be rather amusing, yes?**


	4. Chapter 4

**Author's Note:**

**Hey all! Here's the new update. Thankfully, it took a much shorter time compared to the last one. Please continue to keep pressuring me to update, I think it's quite effective! Also, thank you all so much for all the reviews, favourites and alerts, they make me a happy writer.**

**Just to clear up a few things since I've gotten a few questions on this, yes, Hidan did give up his immortality in the first chapter. However, when he reached Soul Society, he continued his Jashin rituals, so it only makes sense that he gets it back. Besides, immortality is such a big part of Hidan's character. It wouldn't feel right if I took it away from him completely.**

**Enjoy(:**

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Shigekuni Yamamoto-Genryūsai lifted his hands to rub his temples while he tried to straighten out his thoughts. Even a wise man like him had his limits. Sure, given his age, he'd seen his fair share of odd occurrences and freak shows, but nothing quite like the pair that currently stood before him. They were nowhere near creepy, but definitely perplexing to a certain degree.

The current last-minute Captains' and Vice-Captains' Meeting had been started by the man - who later introduced himself as Hidan - who barged into his office, demanding to become a shinigami, with all of the other captains trailing behind him with sheepish expressions. He had also left a rather unsightly pool of blood in the office from the gaping hole in the centre of his chest, and didn't seem sorry about it at all.

Regaining his composure, Yamamoto let his gaze sweep across the room, taking in all the captains and their respective lieutenants in their orderly rows. Finally, his eyes fell on Hidan and Sasori who were in the middle of the room.

"So... Let me get this straight," Yamamoto began. "Hidan, you were the one behind all the mass murders, yet you want to become a shinigami. You also already have had a zanpakuto since you were in the real world for as long as you could remember. You also are immortal and have immense spiritual power because of your involvement in the Jashin religion. Sasori, you want to become a shinigami too. You have committed no crimes, but you were Hidan's comrade when you both were still alive."

"Yeah," Hidan said impatiently while Sasori gave a curt nod.

"I see," Yamamoto continued. "For Sasori, your case is simple. I will allow you to go to the Shinigami Academy. You should be able to graduate quickly and join the ranks of the Gotei-Thirteen since you are already proficient in combat and have valuable experience in battle."

"Thank you," Sasori said.

Yamamoto rounded on Hidan. "As for you, I'm afraid it's more complicated. You have been killing the people we are meant to protect, yet you want to be a shinigami. Do you see the irony in that?

"I don't give a damn about what you think," Hidan retorted. "I don't want to disobey Jashin-sama, he's more important than you are, old man."

"Yes," Yamamoto resumed the rubbing of his temples. "That's another problem; your religion and its twisted practices. I simply cannot allow you to become a shinigami no matter what. You are a danger to all of us here in Soul Society. You will only bring chaos and disaster."

"What the heck?!" Hidan shouted. He was getting pissed at the man who resembled a wrinkly prune. Chaos and disaster, according to Hidan, or at least Jashin, were good things. The old man didn't understand anything. However, he decided to pose a valid argument instead.

"But I have a zanpakuto already," He said simply. "And since I've had it for as long as I can remember, doesn't it mean that I'm meant to become a shinigami?"

"And then again," Yamamoto countered, "Why exactly do you want to become a shinigami?"

There was a pause. "... Because I'm bored of Rukongai and the wimps that live there. There's nothing better to do."

"Precisely," Yamamoto said. "Your intentions are not good. In what way would that benefit the whole of Soul Society?"

Before Hidan could reply and show Yamamoto just exactly how colourful his vocabulary was, someone else spoke up on his behalf.

"Captain Commander," it was Aizen Souske. He took a step forward. "If I may voice my opinion, I would think that it would be better if Hidan-san becomes a shinigami. By taking him in now, we could ensure that his loyalties lie with us. There is also no doubt that his reiatsu levels and immortality would be an invaluable asset to us. Like Hidan-san also already mentioned, he has a zanpakuto, so we should at least ensure that it is put to good use, instead of letting him run free and cause more destruction."

Yamamoto considered the fifth division captain's words. It made sense, but there were still loopholes in the plan. "How would we ensure that the man is indeed loyal to us and doesn't cause anymore trouble?"

"I believe that placing him under the command of a capable captain shall solve the problem, sir."

Yamamoto could understand this. Having the right captain leading Hidan would, in due time, be able to gain Hidan's loyalty. And since all the captains' loyalty lay with him and the good of Soul Society, Hidan's loyalties would have to lie there, too.

"Well then, Aizen-taicho, would you be the one taking responsibility for him?"

Aizen replied smoothly without hesitation. "No, captain commander, I believe that Zaraki-taicho would be a most suitable captain for Hidan-san. Based on what I have seen of this man so far, he would do the best in the eleventh division under such a captain."

"Me?" Zaraki Kenpachi was now listening intently. Sure, he had already considered Hidan and thought about him. He was a tough and worthy opponent, all right. He had actually made him forget totally about challenging Ichigo to another fight. Plus, he could go all-out in a battle against him; he was immortal anyway.

"But," Yamamoto argued, "He doesn't know any kido at all. Not even the basics."

Zaraki's eyes shone brighter. "That," he said, "Makes him an even more suitable choice for my division."

"Hey," Hidan interjected. "Don't I get a say in any of this shit?"

"No" was the immediate response from Yamamoto, Zaraki and Aizen.

"Well, I sure don't mind taking this guy in," Zaraki continued said as Hidan proceeded to sulk. "He interests me."

Yachiru, who had remained quite silent since the start of the meeting, jumped onto Zaraki's shoulder. "Yay! Ken-chan will be happy if Hi-Hi joins us!"

Hidan only managed a flabbergasted look. "'Hi-Hi'? Is that supposed to be me? What the - "

"So what is your decision, captain commander?" Aizen cut in.

Yamamoto wasn't totally convinced yet. "I want to get the opinions of the other captains first." He nodded to the others who hadn't spoken up yet.

Kyoraku Shunsui stepped forward. "Yama-jii, I think we should give Hidan-chan a chance," he said. "I don't think he is an entirely bad person."

If Kyoraku hadn't stood up for him, Hidan would have probably tried to throttle the man. Now he was 'Hidan-chan' too? Too much. Too damn much.

"But then again," Yamamoto said, "You often tend to see the best in people, Kyoraku-taicho."

"Captain commander," it was Kurotsuchi Mayuri this time. "I, too, believe that Hidan-san should be given a chance."

In truth, Kurotsuchi only thought that Hidan, given his unique skills and circumstances, would make a good experiment, and the only way to get his hands on him would be if he was close by. In order to be close by, he needed to be a shinigami, not to mention the twelfth and eleventh division buildings were quite near to each other.

"I think that the man in question should be placed under Zaraki-taicho," Hitsugaya Toshirou said. "Not because he is worthy of being a shinigami, but because the consequences of someone like him unsupervised and bitter towards us would be far more troublesome."

Several of the other captains and lieutenants nodded in agreement.

"Considering that Hidan-san cannot be put to death, even if it was by the Sokyoku, allowing him to become a shinigami would the the wisest choice," Kuchiki Byakuya added. "There is really nothing much we can do about him to ensure Soul Society's safety except for this."

Soi Fon glowered at Hidan. For some reason she couldn't put her finger on, she didn't really like the man. However, despite her dislike for him, she had to admit that Byakuya was right. "I agree," she said.

Yamamoto nodded. He had heard enough. His captains had put up a reasonable argument, and he had to agree that they were right. He held up his hands to indicate that he had made his decision, and the room was immediately silent.

"Your points are all valid. I am convinced. Hidan, from today onwards you will be placed in the eleventh division under Zaraki-taicho. Zaraki-taicho, I expect that you will take full responsibility for him. You are to instruct him carefully and teach him the way the Gotei-Thirteen functions, as well as any other basic techniques that he may require to know. I also want weekly reports on his progress from you."

"Hell yeah!" Hidan pumped his fist into the air as a triumphant gesture. "You hear that, Sasori? I'm gonna be a shinigami, and I don't need to go through the dumb academy either!" In response, Sasori scoffed and turned away from him in envy.

"Yay!" Yachiru cheered as she saw a grin stretched onto Zaraki's face. "This is going to be fun!"

Yamamoto gave a final nod. "Meeting dismissed."

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**Yay! Sorry that it was a rather short chapter this time round, but it's cos I only wanted to write the captains' meeting scene for this one. From the next chapter on, the fun really starts! **

**Also, if you guys would like to see anything in particular for this story, don't hesitate to voice it out. For things like if you want to see more Naruto characters, or any idea that you think would be cool, for example. Also, Sasori won't really be a major character in the story, unless I happen to come up with a situation where he is of huge importance.**

**Thanks for reading! Don't forget to review, I love getting all your feedback. **


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